to the steady hum of your heartmechanics, I can let myself sing to the sleep because this is my kind of heaven. To the sound of your love shy voice on the phone and the silly stories that fill my smile up to the brim for you. Nobody else but you.

Oh, I can stay in this kind of heaven.

where it’s not always snowclean and never pureinnocent but rather the child-like kind because our hands are too clumsynervous to handle hearts.

where I write non-sensical papers of ocean trees (the bright kind where the fishes live) and you tell me that I write my sentences backwards and that I shouldn’t run my sentences. But I do it again and again and again because I know you like to see me outrun my shadowself and use ‘and’ so much.

(that way I don’t have to stop)

The kind of heaven where you outwrite me because that’s the way you are and talent courses red in your veins and I’m inlove with it that way. You watch me unravel your words just like tonight when I tore through that box to find another token of your lovelovelove. And it makes me so full that I have no choice but to confess to you sleepily because I feel lightheavy with it.

Oh, how I can stay in this kind of heaven.




I’minloveagaingainyes.

_{Because the journal on my page is thoroughly depressing. Here have some old corn and cheese.}


My starbright
Starlight, star bright
You’re the star I see tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might
Bask in the star’s light
Oh Starlight, oh start bright
You’re the only star I need tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might
To be forever under my stars’ light



love. love. love. love.
And what I would love (other than you) is to love the love I’m giving you as much you love to love me. (I’m not good at this you see) But I love the love you pour on me, so I love to hope you love to love me as much as I love you.



Limblines
Our limbs splayed and voices echoing
We talked and repeated
Splashing the white walls
With the tones of voices
--our colored tones.
A streak of you
and me
and us.
Dreams were made,
Pale but defined.
You reached out with a finger,
Irises aglow with something more--
than love
--Something more than determination.
(Irises aglow with cracked confidence,
Patched up with stringed laughter
And twined tears)

Irises aglow with something I cannot
Define
(Define us)
You reached out with a finger
and took our lines.
Limb lines in one stroke.
A black streak in the middle
Of saturated colors


We laughed
The lines of ourselves melded
Many into one
with a stroke of me
and you

and us

As you may have heard Philippines has just been hit, there is a tremendous amount of damage and many, many losses.

But all isn't lost, I know I'll only reach a few people with this journal but I hope that there's a difference that's going to be made with these words I write.

I've recently come back from a vacation there. I've confirmed that my friends are safe and sound but I haven't heard yet from my family. I praying that they're safe but I can't stop worrying. I don't know what I'd do if something happened. I have so many brothers and sisters most under the age of fifteen. I am a god-mother of a four month old baby and a cousin of a 2 year old. I am a daughter of a hard working father and a step-child of the most loving woman.

I haven't heard a single word from them.

I fear for all the people who are the same as me. People who have families. I worry for the people who've lost it all, for the people who lost their homes, their loved ones.

Please help these people. Find it in your heart, even to just pray and wish them well. To hope that everything will turn all right in the end.

To find more information about how you can try and help. Read *behindinfinity's journal. [link]

EDIT I'm slowly plowing along the suggestions. Thanks so much. I've been needing random ideas to get rid of his disease of an art block.

While I rest my back, (work was killer today)let me show you a glimpse of what I am, aside from flimsy skin and fragile bones

Ten things I wish I could say to people:
1. All the things you did was never fair.
2. Shove it up your ass. Kindly shove it up your ass, please.
3. I really do love you.
4. Don't think too much.
5. I can't believe that I stayed till today.
6. First person you need to accept is yourself.
7. Scars don't define you.
8. There's nothing wrong with loving someone. Nothing at all.
9. Don't say "No offense" cause you'll just offend me anyway.
10. Don't use excuses, own up to it.

Nine things about myself:
1. Sometimes, I like to pretend I'm in warmer places.
2. I'm a pack rat. I keep everything. Even the bad memories.
3. I love the smell of books, new paper and fresh laundry.
4. I never thought grow up to be this girly.
5. I am what you can call a Sims geek.
6. Sometimes, I like to pretend I'm intelligent.
7. I am inlove with the number 7
8. I was saved by a handful of mismatched angels.
9. I have two families. Both of which I love dearly.

Eight ways to win my heart:
1. Love the not perfect me.
2. Do something nice.
3. Bring me to a good movie.
4. Let me nap on your bed.
5. Hold my hand while I'm sleeping
6. Be silly with me
7. Throw a good pretend bicker battle
8. Write me something.

Seven things that cross my mind a lot:
1. “Wonder if she's still sleeping"
2. "I need sleep >n>;; "
3. "Hope they're doing okay."
4. "I should clean up."
5. "Home."
6. "What is there to do?"
7. "I should draw."

Six things I do before I go to sleep:
1. Go to the bathroom
2. Say I love you and sweet dreams.
3. Set up the alarm.
4. Hope I wake up on time.
5. Fret that the minutes I spend awake are minutes I should spend sleeping
6. Wish for three things.

Five places I want to visit:
1. NC
2. California
3. Philippines
4. Rome
5. Nevada and Montana (I cheated?)

Four things I’m wearing right now:
1. Old soccer jersey. (that I stole from a cousin)
2. Shorts
3. A necklace
4. A bracelet

Three bands I listen to often:
1. Maria Mena
2. Matchbox Twenty
3. (currently) Daughtry

Two things I want to do before I die:
1. Stand by their side.
2. Grow up into something I (and they) can be proud of.

One confession:
1. I have seen a lot of terrible things but I wouldn't be me without them. No regrets.

/END EDIT


First ten people get to say a word and gets a sketch from me?

(It's like I'm mixing two different journal sketch freebies)

You can pick the character and the theme. Uh. Two characters max and no pr0nz please. And anthros, I just simply can't get the hang of that.

Anyway. Off we go.

I'm currently in a loud cramped place and it's hard to breathe. Though I suspect it's because it's heavy with people joy and people laugh.

I am sleepy but I suspect it's because the pill that I had taken hours ago have finally kept it's promise of drowsiness. I also suspect it's because I'm drunk off of smiles.

What would I wouldn't do for my bed and someone a little more.

I'm tired. I need a vacation from work and my life. Any one with size 7 and a half shoes? I would like to see how I walk with them.